John on top of High E

My dilemma at Gunksfest is whether or not to bring kids along. On one hand, I can't get an early start or hang for hours at Bacchus when they come. On the other hand, climbing with them is a lot of fun. Last year, Eric managed to build some serious character at Gunksfest so I decided to bring two kids, Eric and Jay, and also a rental kid, Derek. Actually since he's a junior in college I suppose he doesn't count but I've climbed with him since he was in high school so he seems like one of my own kids.

We skipped the bakery part of the day and headed straight for the cliff. While everyone else decided to be law abiding and park at the preserve's lot, I was an outlaw and parked at the overlook (no ticket either, ha!). When we hit the carriage road, Dawn and the gang had just arrived.

John leading Frogs Head (5.5)

I'm too impatient to just sit around so I immediately browbeat everyone else into letting me have Frogs Head. I wanted a route the kids could do so this seemed like the logical choice. I led the whole thing in one pitch and then brought Derek up.

Unfortunately, Derek suffered a collapsed lung last summer and since then he's had a problem with his endurance so it took him a while. I wanted to let other people have the route so I lowered Derek and asked my kids to do Sundown. We often have them climb in tandem but this time it just didn't work. Eric untied after not getting off the ground and Jay's hands got cold on the crux so I gave up and decided to move to an easier route with them. Steven generously climbed up Sundown (a very good route - it's strange than it almost never gets climbed) with my shoes so I could walk down. I was watching Team Canada struggle up the top pitch of Maria (rated 5.6ma) and since they were just finishing up I went over to take some pictures and show them the hike down.

Jay and Eric attempting to climb Sundown (5.8) in tandem

Back at the bottom my kids were engrossed with their electronic pacifiers (I don't think they spent more than 5 minutes all day interacting with actual humans) so I roused Eric to go work on Maria Direct with Derek while I enlisted Mike Rawdon to help me get a stuck nut out of the crux on Maria.

I eventually vanquished the nut and then got to belay Mike as he flashed flash up City Lights; he didn't even think of using the tree. I also used this time to observe Eric (mister "I can lead 5.10 in the gym and you can't because you're fat and old") fail repeatedly at Maria Direct. I was unmerciful with him. I have to be since by next year he will be tall enough to reach the first hold and I'll have to find a new way to humiliate him.

Eric on Easy O (5.2)

Next I led the kids up Easy Overhang. No real problems except it was impossible to avoid sending an occasional pebble (well, maybe "large pebble" or even "rock") down onto anyone unfortunate enough to be walking between Baby and the main crowd. Apologies to anyone we hit or intimidated! On the hike down we found a set of imposing icicles and we posed a bunch of pictures that would make it look as if we had been suffering in the cold even though the day was plenty warm and toasty.

At this point I renounced fatherhood and banished the kids to Burger King. Alex was the unfortunate victim of my wrath but he seemed to enjoy himself anyway in spite of my efforts to complicate things. Alex experienced one of my Gunks Laws: "There Is Always Time For Disneyland".

Jay finds ice at the warmest GunksFest yet

Instead of slinking off without saying goodbye, we stopped at Bacchus to see the gang one last time. Unfortunately Jay spent the whole time tugging on my arm to get me out of there. Next year I vow to stop letting kids rule my life and stay longer. Maybe I can get someone else to bring kids so they don't feel so intimidated by all the adults.

It was great to see everyone. I hope next year's fest will be as warm and well attended. Maybe the Arrow area next time? Thanks again to Steven and Dawn and everyone else who helped make it a great day.