Spring has sprung completely out of control.  Sunday felt like summer.  Between the weather and being out of work, I kept thinking it was June.  I’d just had a week of climbing in Mexico in similar weather, so all indicators said I should be climbing like it was June.  Once I knocked off Trapped Like a Rat, which felt easy, I was ready to go. We were standing right next to P38 and it was as dry as it was ever going to get.  I knew the bottom was a risky spot but it’s all safe from there and your gear is easily rescued via a scramble, so it seemed like a no-lose situation.  All we could lose was time (and we did).

My beta for the route is simple: do each move once.  These are not moves that bear repeating.  But without Todd there and not having been on it in a year or two, I had to rediscover the starting sequence.  The start is a place where it’s best not to fall, though with an attentive belayer, which Steven certainly is, it would probably come out fine.  There has been an accident there though, and that always looms large in my conscience so I made sure I had a foolproof sequence before I committed to any move I couldn’t reverse.

I got to the next semi-stance eventually, but not quickly.  I milked the rest stance before the crux and loaded it up with little gear and launched out into the crux sequence.  I got the crux gear in, bungled my hands moving away from it, but did get to the pointy thing from which it’s just one hard step-up-on-nothing-from-bad-hands move, which I couldn’t do.  I took the fall, thinking of how at Potrero Chico last week I’d mentioned that on my last trip to Potrero I hadn’t taken a  single lead fall on bolts and had then returned to the Gunks and immediately fallen on gear. So here I am again, hanging on a single under-cammed cam and wondering why I can’t push myself to fall on bolts this same way.

I thought once I fell that I’d be able to do the rest of the moves and finish the route, but I still couldn’t.  I tried several more times and took a longer fall and a couple more of the first fall, but honestly I let go each time, so I didn’t try as hard as I could have.  I can’t remember if that was true on Try Again at the end of last year.  It’s nice to arrange your feet and think of where you’re going, but I need to put that last ounce of effort into trying to do the move.  Maybe I’d surprise myself.

On TR I had no trouble.  I still botched the crux sequence but there were guns to spare.  That’s what’s in me when I’m top-roping that I don’t use when I’m leading.  Later I led Pink Laurel and it felt easy.  I don’t want another season of 8s and 9s feeling casual and 10s being out of my reach.  Especially if I’m not even getting to the top of them. It’s time- and confidence-draining.

Todd says I just need more time on 10s and suggests that climbing with someone who will go up and rescue my gear will help me get it, but I think I need the strength born of desperation, which is the opposite of having a partner who can rescue my gear.  I also need to be OK with falling to the point that I’m only thinking of the moves, like I do on TR, so I can use all my resources to climb.  Todd is committing to trying a 10 every day he’s out.  I’m not sure I’m going that far, but I do need something along those lines.

And Ropelo.  That’s a 12 at the gym I’ve been working on.  I hereby officially commit to Ropelo.

Try Again, 5.7 (Dawn)
Belly Roll, 5.4 (Steven)
P38, 5.10 (TR)
Pink Laurel, 5.9 (Dawn)
Classic, 5.7 (Dawn)