The day didn’t start out well. Packing up in the cloud-covered steambath of a parking lot, I was talking to Steven about Miriam’s soggy shoes when Steven said, “That’s funny. Where are my shoes. So Miriam at least had one pair of climbing shoes with her. Steven had none. On the other hand, Steven’s offer to follow in his approach shoes was more viable. He wears approach shoes designed to be climbed in and climbs–even leads–in them somewhat regularly. He figured he could follow up to 5.7, maybe 5.8, and I figured I couldn’t lead much harder than that given the steamy conditions anyway, so we set out.

If I was going to stick to easier stuff, I wanted to stick to new stuff. Last weekend I discovered that there weren’t any starred routes in the sub-5.8 range left for me to do, so I asked Steven for his advice. On the plus side, he knows almost every route at the Gunks by heart. On the minus side, he’s likely to describe a slabby, tree-clogged moss-fest as “worth doing.”

We started on Snake, which I remember almost nothing about except that by the top I didn’t feel well. I must have gotten overheated, which is extreme considering it was the first route of the day and only 10:00 in the morning. We’d considered doing Thin Slabs Direct as a finish but I didn’t feel up to it so Steven traversed over to the Three Doves/Annie Oh anchor. By the time I joined him there I was starting to feel better thanks to rest and water and I felt up to leading the second pitch of Annie Oh. I always forget about that thin section and I guess Steven did too, but despite our respective handicaps–my stomach and his shoes–we both made a clean if not speedy ascent.

Thinking of Thin Slabs Direct reminded me that I’d never done Thin Slabs. I’d done the Direct pitch and I’d done the alternate pitch but I’d never done the real pitch. I knew this by the fact that there’s a bolt on it. I never forget a bolt. Funny thing about that bolt is that by the time you clip it the route is over. I shook and worried my way up to it (my stomach having established a pattern of churning while I climbed and settling while I sat) but needn’t have worried about the supposed 5.5R slab above it. It was more like 5.2 ladder climbing.

It was starting to sprinkle so we walked back towards the Uberfall to give the weather a chance to make up its mind and to get ourselves closer to the car. The weather deferred a decision so I decided on CC route, another 5.7 I’d never been on. That one turned out to be pretty easy with some fun laybacking off jugs at the top and the biggest ring you’ll ever clip to protect the topout.

My stomach was feeling better but the sky was continuing to grumble so we moved even closer to the car. To route #1 in fact. OK, it’s route #2 in the Swain guide because the girdle traverse comes first, but it’s technically the first vertical Trapps route. It’s called Short But Simple and it’s rated 5.7+.

“This is 5.7+,” I reminded Steven before casting off, “which means there’s a non-trivial move up there somewhere.” Climb an arete to a ledge and then a crack above it. The crux, Swain told us, was in the crack. It was hard to imagine anything too cruxy in a 5.7 vertical crack but I take the plus pretty seriously.

I climbed in the area of an arete (more to the right of it than on it). I arrived at a ledge. I saw a diaganol crack. I couldn’t climb it, but I saw it. There was a horizontal just out of reach and a seam/fault slanting diagonally up and right to another horizontal. I tried to the left. I tried to the right. I finessed my way up to the starting holds. I jumped for the starting holds. I ripped a hole in my hand. I walked off to the right, set a top rope, and tried again on the lower. I think I can imagine how this move would go: heel hook left foot, pull right hand down to chin, change right hand to mantle, reach left hand up to next horizontal. If the rain hadn’t been threatening I could’ve done it. After a few tries, on toprope, at 5.10.

Steven took a few stabs at it in the worsening rain. He could reach the starting holds but that didn’t help much. He tried to the left, he tried to the right. I think you’d really want rock shoes, dry rock, and some time to figure it out.

That 7+ grade at the Gunks. I should know better by now.

with Steven, I led all:
Snake, 5.7-
Annie Oh, P2, 5.8
Thin Slabs, 5.7-
CC Route, 5.7
Short But Simple, 5.7+