The following scripts are available for review by contacting me via the Contact page. Royalties are negotiable.
Girl Talk is a one act comedy on a unit set with roles for two young adult women. Lisa and Cathy are best friends and roomates, but they disagree on how to meet a man and what to do with one once they've met him. Cathy wants to get married. Lisa wants things to stay the way they are. The two together are fun, delightful, and reminiscent of every BFF relationship we've ever had.
CATHY: I'll be careful. I have my diaphragm.
LISA: Sure you do. But will you wear it? Probably not. I don't know why I waste my breath.
CATHY: I'll be careful. I don't do this to you every time you meet someone new.
LISA: That's because I am careful. Have I ever had a pregnancy scare? No.
CATHY: Because you're on the pill.
LISA: Because I'm careful.
CATHY: I don't interfere in your sex life. Why are you interfering with mine?
LISA: I just don't want to have to sit through another episode of "Will My Period Come Tonight." I know that script by heart.
Charity Begins at Home
Written for one of Hole in the Wall's 24 Hour Play festivals, Charity Begins at Home is a ten-minute physical comedy/farce with roles for three men and one woman. Charity's relatives don't believe any man can possibly be good enough for her, and they're going to prove it by chasing them all away.
SUZANNE: Jebediah, was it?
SUZANNE: So sorry. Jedidiah.
SUZANNE: Yes, of course. I've got it now. Make yourself comfortable, Jeremiah. Charity had an Uncle Jeremiah. Perhaps you remind her of him, God rest his soul.
JOSHUA: I hope not.
SUZANNE: I hope so! You couldn't aspire to be a better man than Uncle Jeremiah, God bless his heart. He died as he lived - unnoticed. A very good man, but not memorable.
JOSHUA: I only meant I hope she doesn't think of me as an uncle. I'm sure he was a good man.
SUZANNE: Who's that, dear?
JOSHUA: Uncle Jeremiah.
SUZANNE: Do you have an Uncle Jeremiah, too? What a coincidence. Oh, but I'm being silly, aren't I? Of course you have an Uncle Jeremiah. You were named after him.
Boyz Drool, Harleys Rule
Also written for a 24 Hour Play festival, Boyz Drool, Harleys Rule is a satirical look at current events set in The Joker's lair. This ten minute comedy includes roles for two women, one girl, and one actor of any gender. The Joker has his harem of Harleys to boost his ego and help execute his nefarious plans, but what happens if they decide to resist?
THE JOKER IS ON HIS THRONE WITH HIS FOOT IN A CAST AND A REMOTE CONTROL IN HIS HAND. HARLEY #1 (KEYSH) AND HARLEY #2 (SIERRA) FRAME HIM.
KEYSH: Aw, Joker baby. The doctor said you'd be fine in a few weeks. You're not going to be lame.
SIERRA: The word is disabled. Decent people don't use the word lame anymore.
JOKER: That's lame.
KEYSH: What's lame?
JOKER: Not saying lame is lame.
KEYSH: Let's just say disabled, OK? Not saying lame is disabled.
SIERRA: OK, now that's lame.
JOKER: Whatever. I wasn't talking about me. I'm not lame.
KEYSH: Of course you're not, Joker baby. You're the best.
JOKER: That's right. I'm the best. Even with a broken foot, I'm the best. That's lame, right there - that thing on the television.
SIERRA: The news?